Jill thank you for taking the time to write and post this. It is my first time on substack and the first piece I have read here.
This is such an interesting topic to consider. For me the reality is that for most of my life the inner voice was in charge, and that voice was not very kind. I imagine that if from a young age a child was trained constantly that they needed to do better, or get faster, smarter, thinner... They would feel a pull to perfection that many people in Western Culture are subjected to. That pull comes from always needing to do better, or in other words never being enough. What happens if that same child is raised always as "perfect" in their imperfection. Rather than being not enough, right or wrong that they just are. They are allowed to be as they are. The world is explained to them in terms of how they feel, and they are existing in life as it is as they are. What would that life be like? Would there be a need to hold oneself accountable? Wouldn't acceptance and kindness be the norm even when decisions led to bad consequences. The consequence becomes the instructor there is no need for the self to provide judgement or interpretation, nor any outside voice. Perspective can be contemplated from outside sources as a means to understanding things from the angles one cannot perceive from our view. Those perspectives also are not right or wrong merely information that can be processed.
Anyway, what can you do except be yourself? If that is true than we all deserve to be kind to ourselves, whether we think we have the choice to "do better" or not, we are always limited by what we are able to do in the moment, not what we understand after the moment.
Thanks again! I can't wait to read more of your work.
Bravo! Beautifully written and so true. We don't get anywhere by beating ourselves. Other people are too happy to do that for us. Self-compassion and accountability can work together. We achieve more by being kind to ourselves and knowing our limits Thank you for a wonderful post!.
Phew this one. Phew phew phew. It's the middle that makes us whole. Not the subjectiveness of "success" or "failure". Here's to the gentle reassurances the days we push and the days we pull. xx
Jill thank you for taking the time to write and post this. It is my first time on substack and the first piece I have read here.
This is such an interesting topic to consider. For me the reality is that for most of my life the inner voice was in charge, and that voice was not very kind. I imagine that if from a young age a child was trained constantly that they needed to do better, or get faster, smarter, thinner... They would feel a pull to perfection that many people in Western Culture are subjected to. That pull comes from always needing to do better, or in other words never being enough. What happens if that same child is raised always as "perfect" in their imperfection. Rather than being not enough, right or wrong that they just are. They are allowed to be as they are. The world is explained to them in terms of how they feel, and they are existing in life as it is as they are. What would that life be like? Would there be a need to hold oneself accountable? Wouldn't acceptance and kindness be the norm even when decisions led to bad consequences. The consequence becomes the instructor there is no need for the self to provide judgement or interpretation, nor any outside voice. Perspective can be contemplated from outside sources as a means to understanding things from the angles one cannot perceive from our view. Those perspectives also are not right or wrong merely information that can be processed.
Anyway, what can you do except be yourself? If that is true than we all deserve to be kind to ourselves, whether we think we have the choice to "do better" or not, we are always limited by what we are able to do in the moment, not what we understand after the moment.
Thanks again! I can't wait to read more of your work.
Bravo! Beautifully written and so true. We don't get anywhere by beating ourselves. Other people are too happy to do that for us. Self-compassion and accountability can work together. We achieve more by being kind to ourselves and knowing our limits Thank you for a wonderful post!.
Ugh... Can you tell this to a special someone in my life please... Thanks for sharing...!
Hi
Phew this one. Phew phew phew. It's the middle that makes us whole. Not the subjectiveness of "success" or "failure". Here's to the gentle reassurances the days we push and the days we pull. xx
👍
Beautiful